Still there

So how can I tell you this without having others think the wrong idea. I'm usually as honest as I can be but sometimes things should not be said. But now I'm bottled up, I feel like a glass of water that's overflowing with all these words that you should know. So I'll say them here where you might or might not care. You might not even know they're for you. Let me start by saying I love you. As simple as that might be. You're my best friend, my sister, half my brain. I will fight for you, I'll stand before you and with all my heart I'll defend you no matter the circumstances. To this I'd kill for you. Sadly this is slowly taking the wrong turn, the road I fear most with every person that is important in my life or at least worthy of my love. This is deteriorating slowly, I want it to build up again. I want to be able to talk to you without feeling this small awkwardness of "I don't care". I wont be a hypocrite with you, I wont lie to you. Lying hurts I know that feeling very well. I'd rather shut up than lie to you, I'd rather shut up and bite my tongue than hurt you. But why aren't you telling me the bad news? You can hurt me but not tell me the truth. I want it or maybe I need it. Just because it will come from you. I see when you lie and that's the most hurtful thing to me in this world. And no matter how much it still hurts and no matter how much it'll still make me cry.
I'm still there, I got your back. Simple fact.